Offspring - ON HIATUS
by orangeyhairedimmortal
Summary: Roy trusted Edward with his child from REACTION, but things keep piling against the young alchemist as Ren begins to show odd signs of aging that Ed can't understand. Along with getting Fuery back to normal, Ed's plate seems so full. Can Edward let go of his guilt to follow Roy's last order without breaking? Will he be able to fulfill all the promises he made without going insane?
1. Chapter 1

**for those who read the original version of this story, it will seem a little bit the same but the tone is going to be a big different. i hope you all enjoy this new version of OFFSPRING**

* * *

 _"You've always been a son to me. You've always made me proud. I trust you."_

 _"Mustang it's a boy… it's a human boy…"_

 _"Ed, you have to let him go."_

* * *

The ringing in my ears won't go away and I wake up with a start. I sit up, gasping at the soreness of my limbs from the rain outside. I massage my thigh where the flesh meets steel. Lightning shines on my automail arm from outside and I catch a glimpse of it, realizing that I was so focused on the baby and the fact that… that he… My eyes widen at the realization of the blood and why it's there and I scramble, falling off the bed. It takes me a moment to gather my wits back together and remember that the automail is attached. I have the _wash_ the blood off.

I run to the bathroom, immediately wetting a rag and lathering it up with soap. I know Winry will be pissed about it (she's always telling me to stop using soap on my automail in the shower) but I _have_ to get the blood off. I don't care about rusting the metal or warping the gears, I _have_ to get it off. As I scrub, I watch the oxidized blood go down the drain in a brown swirl. A flashback of how these spots got here pound my brain as I see my blade slicing through the Colonel's soft flesh…

The memory of what I've done hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel bile creep up my throat. I abandon washing my arm and aim my vomit to the toilet. I empty my stomach of nothing and then lean against it. Tears are slowly trailing my cheeks and my head hurts from trying not to cry and throwing up all the same. Nothing can fix the pain in my heart… No one would understand what I'm going through…

Thunder rumbles and I finally let myself sob against the toilet. _He's gone… He's gone…_

"Colonel here." I hear beside me.

In my anguish, I didn't even hear Fuery pad into the bathroom and sit next to me. I look at him for a moment as he pants happily at me and then butts something over to me that he had dropped on the ground. I look down and see that it's the Colonel's jacket that I had found earlier today. I look at Fuery again and he stares at me with expectation, never knowing how much he's really helping…

I reach for the jacket and put it on, it swallowing me whole since Roy was a good two feet taller than I am and muscled even more. It looks a little silly on me since it's so big but I can still smell Roy and I feel like he's with me and that I didn't let him die. I didn't fail him…

I look at Fuery, looking a little silly with his human glasses on his face, but looking happily at me. Ever since he became a chimaera, he has been very sensitive to those who need it most and I appreciate that he's here with me, unknowingly knowing exactly what I need. I wish I could talk with Al about it but I just can't… I already feel guilty about what I did to him trying to bring back our mother but I don't want him to bear this pain with me. This was all my fault…

I sniffle a little when I feel something in the lining of the jacket. I reach in and pull out an envelope that is folded over. I open it and pull out something. Pictures… There are only six of them and each are labeled on the back.

The first looks like it is Mustang when he was a kid with a surprisingly attractive woman who is quite mannish. He is holding up a fish to the camera, a tooth missing and the woman is smoking a pipe very stoically behind him.

 _Me, 7, and Aunt Chris_

The next is of him and Hughes and Hawkeye. It must have been sometime around the Ishvalan War because Roy's hair is very short, Hughes has no beard, and Hawkeye's hair is cut incredibly short. They all look tired except for Hughes, who is grinning ear to ear as he has one arm around Roy and one arm around Hawkeye.

 _Me, 22, Maes, and Riza. End of Ishvalan War._

Next is a picture of just him using flame alchemy where someone must have snapped a picture of him doing it. The next picture is of Hawkeye in normal clothing sitting on a couch with her legs propped up and a mug in her hand.

 _Best bodyguard I could ever have although quite off guard here._

There is a small heart at the end of the sentence and I notice that it has 'RM+RH' inside of it and lift an eyebrow. I look at Fuery, who has been looking with me.

"Seems like the Colonel really did have a fondness for Hawkeye. What a sap, huh?"

"Fuery knew." He says with a wag of his tail and I can see the human side of him making connections with the pictures. "Riza like him too."

The next picture is a group picture of everyone that is under his command with all of them named. It even has me on there as NOT PICTURED. The last picture though, makes me freeze. He had somehow gotten a picture of Al and I while I was smiling big at Al.

 _Alphonse Elric, possibly 13, and Edward Elric, possibly 14. The youngest under my direction. They make me realize what being a father is all about and that maybe someday I'll have my own children to worry over._

My eyes begin to water as I remember what he said to me when I was supposed to get the baby out. He said that he always viewed me as a son and that's why he trusted me… He shouldn't have done that… Why did he say that?! Now Mustang is _gone_ and the thing he couldn't have had, fatherhood, is never going to be given to him. Hell, I even took away the baby's father; now he's just like me and Al…

Fuery whimpers and touches my cheek with his wet nose, licking my tears.

"Ed no cry… No cry…"

I cry harder and wrap my arms around Fuery, sobbing into his fur. He puts a paw around my back and I feel his nose in my ear where he is snuggling to me but I don't care. I can't keep up with these feelings and now knowing that I've caused that kid to be alone…

I finally stop crying (or I used up all my tears, I'm not sure) and decide to just write out the stupid report that the Fuhrer needs for the files. It won't be easy but I can't go back to sleep and maybe going over the events might help me a little…

* * *

I wake up the next morning with my head against the desk. I sit up and try to work the kink out of my back. Fuery is on the bed calmly looking at me and I pet him on the head.

"Nice, Edward…" he says with a 'smile'.

I smile too and notice I'm still wearing the Colonel's jacket. I want to take it off but having it on makes me feel better actually and I head downstairs. As I enter the living room, I find Al in the kitchen running the water. I walk to him and find him cleaning dishes.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"The Colonel had a lot of dirty dishes so I thought I'd try to straighten up the place… Are we going to stay here, Brother?"

"I don't see why not. There are a lot of things that will be taking place in the days coming up so since it's technically free room and board…"

Al nods and then looks at me fully. If he had a face I would be able to see that he is frowning but just knowing him, I can tell he's not quite happy about my appearance.

"Why do you have that on?"

"It helps… Fuery found it under the bed and… I just…"

Al's demeanor changes and he nods again. "I see…"

I look around for a second and realize that the baby isn't here.

"Where's the baby?"

"You told me to take it to Mr. Hughes, remember?"

"Oh, right…"

"We named him."

"You did?"

"We decided on the name Ren. It's short for Roy, Edward, and Maes, but just switching out the M with the N. His middle name is Alphonse. That was Mr. Hughes' idea…"

"Ren Alphonse Mustang… That's a good name."

 _Ren… So that's what your name is now._ I think to myself. Alphonse gets done with the dishes and dries off his hands.

"What's wrong, Ed?" he asks and I look up at him.

"What?"

"You're crying again…"

I wipe my face furiously and sniffle, trying to hold back tears.

"It's nothing… I just can't believe he's really gone. The Colonel, that is… I just…"

Al touches my shoulders and I look into his eye holes, the red glow somehow showing sympathy.

"Ed, there's nothing that could have been done. The Colonel knew the risks and trusted you to follow his orders. He knew he could trust you and that's why he asked. You didn't kill the Colonel."

I turn away and pull my shoulders from him.

"Yes I did. If I had been more cautious about my surroundings I wouldn't have gotten caught. He would have been able to have Ren removed properly in the hospital where there are machines to keep him alive. I killed Roy Mustang."

"No you didn't. _Tucker_ killed the Colonel. If he hadn't used him for his sick experiments, then none of this wouldn't have happened. We can blame a lot of things, even the Colonel himself for going into the military. Why didn't he just become a farmer or something?" I look at him and he sighs. "Ed, there are so many things that the past does that makes us who we are and makes the world around us act the way they do. The what ifs and the should haves will just… it'll make you crazy. No one sees you as a murderer, Ed; the circumstances just happened the way they did."

"I just feel like I could have done something more."

"You said the same thing when you tried to get Mom back. You say that same thing when it comes to my body. You can't change the past, Brother."

The phone rings and Al says he'll go get it as I think about what he has said. He's right and I know it but… but he's not me. He will never understand how it felt…

"Ed, Mr. Hughes wants us to come to his house. He said there's something really odd happening with Ren."

Panic goes through me. Is the experimentation causing issues with Ren? **_Good._** I hear in the back of my mind. I gasp at myself for even thinking about it. Ren didn't ask for this… _**But he did it anyway, didn't he?**_ I shake my head and get ready to go to Hughes' house.

* * *

We get to Hughes' house and knock on the door. It opens quickly and the Lieutenant Colonel's glasses are askew. He straightens them and a look of relief shows on his face.

"I'm glad you guys are here. Maybe you can reason with him."

"Reason with _who_?" Al asks as we step in.

"That _thing_ that you gave my husband!" Mrs. Hughes yells as she holds Elysia.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I think it would be best if you just went and looked."

He points to a bedroom and we both walk toward it. I open the door and I hear a giggle as a stream of fire shoots into the air and into the ceiling where a large hole is forming with charred marks around it. I look at the dresser and find a small child sitting there laughing. At hearing Al's armor behind me, the child turns to us and smiles big.

"Dah!" he says, holding out his arms to us and opening and closing his hands. "Daaaaah!"

We walk over and he reaches for me so I pick him up. He hugs my neck and nuzzles into the crook.

"Dah…"

"No, Edward."

He pulls back and turns his head a little.

"Dah?"

"Brother, I don't think he can talk." Al says behind me.

"Talk." He says suddenly and I almost drop him.

It looks like he's thinking for a second and then grins again.

"Ed." He says, pointing to me. "Al." he says, pointing to Al. He looks back at me. "Safe."

 _"I trust you."_

"Ed safe." He says again and touches my cheeks his hands. "Ren safe."

Revelation suddenly dawns on the both of us and we look at each other and then back at the child.

"Are you… are you Ren?" Alphonse asks, pointing at the kid.

The kid smiles sheepishly and leans into my chest but nods. We look at each other again and realize this is no ordinary child.

* * *

 **and what have we here? i'm sure you all know (especially those coming back) but if not oh well you'll see**


	2. Chapter 2

**ren is a complicated character. he's both young and older at the same time. he's quite cognizant of a lot of things...**

* * *

I look into the toddler's strange eyes, wondering how they got that way and what exactly he _was_. He was just a little baby just yesterday and now he was a toddler? Hughes walks in and looks as us skeptically.

"Gracia is very concerned about him and thinks that maybe you should take him to get seen again. This is obviously not good." He says, looking at Ren suspiciously.

Ren sits up in my arms and looks up at me.

"Ren bad?" he asks, looking so sad. "I'm scary…"

Hughes seems to see the effect of his words and walks in a little more, looking at Ren with a slightly confused expression.

"It's not that, Ren, it's just that… well… You're growing faster than you should. Do you understand that?"

Ren seems to think for a second and looks at me.

"I get big?"

"That's what it looks like." I say, not really sure what to say either.

"And you seem to be able to use an advanced form of alchemy."

Ren's face brightens. "Fire!" he says, clapping.

A stream of fire shoots from his hands and almost hits Hughes but he moves quickly and it just hits the walls again. I give Ren a glare and he covers his face sadly with his hands.

"I sorry… Fire bad?"

"Yes, fire is bad." I say, putting him down.

As I set him down, Ren looks at me as if I have shattered his whole world. It's quite heartbreaking as he stares, his eyes full of tears.

"I sorry!" he cries, the tears finally billowing over and down his cheeks. "I sorry!"

Alphonse picks him up instead and touches his back to comfort him.

"It's alright, Ren. We just need to train you a little more. That's all we need… No one is mad at you."

Hughes looks at me and motions for me to follow him. I turn to Al.

"Hey, keep him entertained for a second while I talk to Hughes."

"Okay, Brother."

I walk out with Hughes to the living room of his apartment.

Gracia looks at us with Elysia in her arms expectantly.

"Well? What will you do with it?"

" _He_ , Mrs. Hughes." I say with a sigh. "His name is Ren and he's the Colonel's son."

"Well whatever 'he' is is not normal. Did you see what he did? He could have hurt us."

"He's a child!" I yell, angry that this loving mother was being so cold. "What if Elysia was like that? Would you scorn her? Would you be so mean?"

"Ed, it's alright. We were just startled by the alchemy and the growth… What are we supposed to do?"

 _"I trust you."_

"The Colonel entrusted Ren to me… We can see that something is very wrong with him…"

"Yeah, he's a two year old boy and he just came of his father's womb not too long ago. Yeah, I'd say there's something wrong." Hughes says a little more curtly that his usual self.

I glare at him. "Well whatever is wrong probably has to do with how he was created. That asshole decided that the Colonel was a great place to conduct and unorthodox experiment and Ren is the product. He's a child of alchemy so what the hell do you expect?!"

Hughes runs his fingers through his hair and sighs.

"I'm sorry… It's just been a rough couple of days… I'm having to prepare Roy's funeral and now this with his kid… It's all too much."

I frown. "Do you want us to take him back?"

Hughes looks at me apologetically. "Just until I can get everything situated. I thought we were just going to have to care for a baby, which would have been easier, ironically enough. But if Ren is going to have these issues happen… He needs someone who will look after him with a more scrutinizing eye."

I ball my fists in anger. I want to lash out at him. He was the Colonel's best friend and he's giving up _again_. He's making me take care of something I don't understand _again_. Why is he acting this way? Why is does he keep brushing these things off on me?

"Lieutenant Colonel, why won't you take Ren in? I don't know how to care for a child _at all_ , lest a kid who's going through alchemical growth spurts most likely due to his genetic makeup that was composed from the formulas of a madman. Why do you keep thinking that I'm able to do this?"

Hughes smiles sadly at me. "That explanation you just gave me? I don't have the slightest clue how any of that would work. You know alchemy; maybe not all forms of it but you know a hell of a lot more than I do. Ren is special and from all that Roy always said about you, you're a prodigy in alchemy. You get it to a degree that's kind of scary. That's the kind of person Ren needs to help him. I'm no good at it."

Even though this issue makes me want to hurl things at him, at least this time the reasoning makes much more sense.

"Right…"

"I'm really sorry, Ed. I was so happy to take him but this is beyond my understanding. I just… I just don't want to mess things up."

 _And I won't?_ I think but I just sigh and nod.

* * *

 **~*~ Alphonse~*~**

As I hold Ren in my arms, we can overhear Brother and Mr. Hughes talking about his fate. Every time his name is mentioned, Ren seems to shudder as if he knows what's happening. I decide to ask him if that's true.

"Ren?" He looks up at me with curious eyes. "Can you hear them? Do you know what they're saying?"

"Yeah… I'm not right."

I look back at him as he stares at the door sadly. I shake him a little and he looks at me.

"You're fine, Ren. It's just the growing we're concerned about."

"I grow wrong…"

Ed comes back into the room and looks at us and at Ren.

"Come on; we're taking Ren. I'm sure you heard everything."

I can tell he's tired and angry. It's not that he doesn't want to help Ren but listening to the conversation, I can tell that he just wanted to mourn for the Colonel like everyone else gets to do. Now he has to take care of Ren, getting it thrust upon him like the Colonel was before. I'm sure he's reliving the issue.

"Well… what are we going to do about Ren's growth spurts?" as we leave Mr. Hughes' apartment.

"We can wait until after the Colonel's funeral to have anything done. It's not too far away and we don't need anything more to happen."

Ren looks at the two of us and then reaches out to touch Edward's jacket.

"My blanky." Ed looks back at me and at Ren, who points at his jacket. "This is my blanky."

Ed looks so tired and worn out but he smiles a little and takes off the red coat with Teacher's emblem and hands it to me. Ren grabs it immediately and wraps himself in it. I laugh a little and move it around so that he has his hands in the sleeves.

"There." I say as he grins.

Ren lays his head on my shoulder and looks up at me innocently.

"I love you, Uncle Al."

If he could see me smile, he'd see I was beaming.

"I love you too, Ren."

I see Ed look at me from over his shoulder but I don't see admiration or even jealousy. I see something I don't normally see from Brother: disgust.

* * *

We get to the apartment and I lay Ren on the couch as he snuggles in Brother's jacket. He had fallen asleep on the way back and it felt wrong wot wake him again. Brother watches him with sagging eyes and I can tell he didn't get a good sleep last night. He wrote that report of the Fuhrer but I'm pretty sure he didn't get proper sleep.

"What are we going to do, Al?" he whispers. "If this is really happening then what will we do? I mean, if this really is what is going, this alchemical growth spurt, on then he'll be older than us in three month's time, dead before the year is out."

"I know. We will have to take him back to that lab because they are the ones who got all of Tucker's recent research. Mr. Hughes has access to that though so maybe we can come to some of our own conclusions."

I nod when I see Fuery coming down the stairs and I sigh.

"I wish I could turn Fuery into a man before the funeral but even though things were successful, if it actually fails, I don't want him to miss it. Is that cruel, Al?"

"Not if he wants it… Why don't you ask him?"

"I can't do that."

Fuery walks up to us and looks at Ren on the couch. He sniffs a little and turns his head.

"Colonel but not Colonel… Baby!" he says, his tail wagging.

"Shhh, baby is sleeping." I say. "Fuery can we ask you a question?"

Fuery sits down and looks up at us to let us know he has our attention. Ed kneels in front of him and puts his hands on either side of his face.

"Would… would you be willing to wait? I want to make you human so bad Sergeant Fuery but I don't want to fail… I am 98% sure that you will turn back into a human but I don't want that last 2% to ruin you going to the Colonel's funeral or because of recovery time. I want you to be there as his subordinate so… will you wait?"

"Fuery turn human… later?"

"I promise my _life_ on it."

Fuery looks away for a moment and then jumps onto the couch, snuggling next to Ren. Ren opens his eyes for just a second and then snuggles into Fuery's fur.

"Fuery trust Edward."

We both sigh in relief. I know Brother really wants to hurry up and change Sergeant Fuery back but we both know how important the Colonel was to everyone and to have the funeral without all of his personnel there would be a taboo on his leadership.

* * *

 **~*~ Edward~*~**

I go to sleep with the Colonel's jacket on for some comfort when I feel someone is watching me. I open my eyes and jump when I find both Fuery and Ren staring at me from the doorway. I sit up and turn my light on, running my fingers through my loose hair as Ren looks at me.

"Ren…"

"I had a bad dream… Can I sleep with you?"

Fuery whimpers to add to it and Ren suddenly climbs in the bed and snuggles against me.

"I like this smell." He says, sniffing the Colonel's jacket.

 _ **Of course you would like it. It's your father's that you killed.**_ I can't believe I thought that just now. _**But you know it's true.**_

Ren looks up at me and sits up, his odd eyes seeming to see right into me.

"You don't like me no more." He says, his eyes brimming with tears.

I feel bad that I keep thinking such horrible thoughts towards him but I can't keep them from my mind. He killed Mustang… he killed him… _**But so did you, so why are you trying to make him the sole murderer?**_

"I go…" I hear and come to my senses a little too late.

Fuery barks and I sit up as Ren runs out of the room. I stand up and go after him.

"Ren!"

"Brother?" Al says, looking up from the end of the hallway. "What's wrong?"

"Ren!" I say, ignoring him as I run down the stairs after the child. "Wait, where are you going?!"

Fuery rushes past me toward the toddler as he reaches up and opens the door. I'm still bounding down the stairs when he turns to me, his eyes glistening with tears.

"I'm gonna find Daddy."

Fuery gets to the door and hits it rather hard but stands his ground, growling a little. Ren steps back and I continue down the stairs.

"Baby Colonel _stay_." He growls.

Ren is taken aback by Fuery's anger and falls into me, where I scoop him up and hold him. He finally cries hard in my shoulder.

"I want Daddy! I want my Daddy!"

"The Colonel is dead, Ren… You can't find him anymore." I try to keep my own emotions set as he sobs on my shoulder. "He's no longer here…"

"Why?! Why?!"

I decide to tell him the truth.

"Because I killed him."

* * *

 **we'll get into ren's reasoning abilities later. the cat is out of the bag, so to say. how will everyone react?**


	3. Chapter 3

**apologies in advance for the ooc edward. and fake points for those who get where ren is talking about**

* * *

"Because I killed him." I say, holding Ren close to me.

Ren shakes his head in my shoulder and then pulls back to look at me.

"Uncle Ed didn't kill him. _I_ killed him. Everyone says so…"

I want to disagree but he's right, he is half to blame.

When I don't say anything Ren's eyes begin to water and he pushes away from me. Fuery is behind him, making sure he doesn't leave as Ren looks at me with hurt and tears.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! It was dark and scary and everyone kept saying I should die! No one wants me here!"

"Who said you should die?" Alphonse says, walking closer to us.

"All the people! I could hear them in the dark!" His sobs increase as he goes to his tiny knees on the floor. "They all want me to die…"

Alphonse elbows me hard and I look at him as he motions to Ren. I don't know what to say… I really don't. I can hardly think right now and now all of this?

"No cry! Baby Colonel no cry!" Fuery says, getting into a tizzy as he tries to comfort Ren in the only way he can.

Seeing Fuery and Ren and everyone I can't… I just… I can't…

* * *

 **~*~ Alphonse~*~**

Brother turns around on his heel and goes up the stairs, leaving poor Ren to sob on the floor in shambles. A few seconds later though I hear this mournful scream and I realize that Brother is breaking. He can't do this… he can't be everyone's wall. He was my wall when Mom died, he was Winry's wall when her parents died. He never gets to mourn with us; he protects us and thinks ahead for us, never letting the pain show but this is all too much. Having to do what he did to the Colonel to save Ren, watching the Colonel die… the words and promise he was meant to keep. No one wants to give Ed a break but they seem to want closure for themselves…

I bend down to Ren and encompass him in my arms.

"No one hates you, Ren. Where did you hear all of that mean stuff?"

"In the dark place… it was so dark and scary…"

"Do you know where that dark place was?"

"No… I just know that it was dark and small and then there was light and I saw Uncle Ed looking at me. I could hear voices and they were saying I should die and that I wasn't normal…"

"Well, you _aren't_ normal, Ren, but that's beside the point. Whatever those people said is not true. No one wishes you were dead and no one wishes you were gone. I'm here for you, okay?"

"Fuery here too." Fuery says, licking Ren's face.

He wipes his nose and looks at me with puffy eyes.

"Uncle Ed hates me."

"Uncle Ed is having a hard time. He doesn't hate you. Right now he hates himself… You want me to tuck you back in on the couch?" Ren nods. "Alright…"

I tuck him back in and Fuery gets on the couch, curling up next to him and I go upstairs.

* * *

I knock lightly on the door of the bathroom.

"Brother?"

He says nothing and I knock again.

"Brother, can I come in?"

He says nothing again and I open the door, walking in. Edward is on the floor next to the toilet with his head leaning on it and his knees to his chest. He looks up at me slowly and I can see his red eyes and tear stains.

"Are you going to be alright, Ed?"

"I… I can't…"

"Can't what?"

"I can't take care of him. All I see is slicing Mustang open and pulling him out of his stomach. All I see is his lifeless eyes! But he keeps saying 'I trust you'!" Ed hits his head against the toilet a little harshly. "'I trust you, I trust you', those were his last words to me and I can't do a god damned thing for it!"

I kneel in front of Ed and he looks at me forlornly.

"Brother, he asked you to take his child because he knew he could count on you to make sure he was safe."

"No, he said 'take care of him'. That means me. _I_ have to take care of him."

"You don't have to do it by yourself. You have me and there are other people who will be willing to help."

"Like Hughes?" he seethes, an anger I have never seen toward Mr. Hughes in his eyes. "Because he was a _wonderful_ help."

"You know it wasn't his fault. He got scared."

"And does everyone think that I never get scared?! Hughes isn't the only one that lost somebody! No one ever seems to think that _I_ have feelings too! They just push things on me and hope for the best! _I'm_ the strong one, _I'll_ be okay. WELL I'M NOT!"

"I can see that." I say calmly.

Edward wipes his tears for a second.

"I just… I want to grieve too. I don't want to be strong… I just… Why can't someone be strong for _me_?"

I laugh because it's funny how blind he is to himself.

"Brother, there are plenty of people who are strong for you. Winry and I are always there for you, the Colonel was there, and there are others too. You're too busy trying to keep up appearances to notice how much we are strong for you. But I get it, I really do. I've watched you be strong for a lot of people, Winry and I included, and it's hard. We've wondered how you can do this for so long… but you're right in that you deserve to mourn, to grieve and cry."

Edward hiccups and we suddenly start laughing. He wipes his tears and I stand up, holding out my hand.

"Come on, let's get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us."

He nods and I pull him up to his feet.

* * *

 **~*~ Maes~*~**

As I drink a glass of brandy, Gracia comes and sits by me. She grabs my arm and lays her head on my shoulder. She then kisses my cheek softly and rubs my arm in comfort.

"I know this is very difficult for you. Roy was like a brother to you."

"I just can't believe he's gone… After all that fight and he's gone…"

"Things will get better, Maes."

"How? Roy is dead and there's nothing left of him but his son, who isn't quite normal."

"What do you think the boys did with that… thing…?"

I take another swig of my brandy to keep from glaring at her. Ren has done nothing wrong, so why is she talking about him like he isn't a person?

"I don't know… They probably took him back home."

"Will they bring it to the funeral?"

This time I actually do glare at her.

"I don't see why not. He _is_ Roy's son, whether it was by alchemy or not. It would be pretty tacky if they didn't bring him."

Gracia sighs and stands up, heading for our room.

"Winry called and said she should be getting in just as the funeral starts tomorrow. Elysia and I will go and pick her up so that you don't miss any part of the funeral… Why do you think Edward didn't call her about this? I mean, Roy was just as important to him as he was to you."

"Well, I don't think he's had enough time to think about himself, let alone phone Winry about his superior's death. Besides, he thinks it was his fault that Roy is dead."

"What a horrid thought! All he was doing was trying to get that horrible thing out of him. If Roy hadn't died then I'd call Edward a hero of sorts. He got that thing out of him."

"Gracia, please stop calling Ren a 'thing'. He has a name and he is a person."

"Maes, he's not normal."

"Neither is Alphonse but you treat him with respect and dignity. I'm surprised at you…"

Gracia sighs as she leans on the doorjamb.

"I'm still just a little unnerved about his growth and the damage he did to the room. What if Elysia had been in there? He's dangerous, Maes."

"He's a little kid, honey. I don't know what's wrong with him but I bet it has anything to do with what caused his creation, which was alchemy. We can't blame him for being created by a madman and we can't blame him for not understanding what he can do."

"I guess you're right… You're not going to ask for him back though, are you?"

"No, I can't. I don't know anything about alchemy. I think he is in good hands with the Elrics."

"No offense, sweetheart, but you said that about Roy and he ended up almost killing himself and going back into the hospital. If what you say is true about Ren, then it will only get more complicated from here on out. Are you _sure_ that they can handle a child that's growing at an accelerated rate?"

I sigh, putting the glass of brandy to my forehead.

"I have no idea… I really don't."

"Then don't you think it would be better if he were someplace that could watch over him and make sure everything is okay with him?"

I look up with wide eyes. "You mean a lab?"

"I mean someplace that can't help him."

I put the glass on the table harshly.

"Ren is _not_ going into a lab. I _forbid it_."

Gracia smiles at me kindly and turns to go into the room.

"Please think about it, Maes. He's not normal, human or not, and he's not natural. It would be advantageous for him to be someplace he can be looked after and monitored."

She goes into the bedroom and closes the door as I stare at my glass. Ren is a little boy who got caught up in this mess because he happens to be the result of Roy's body and the dealings of a madman. Whatever the case, he's not to blame and he is not a guinea pig. He's just a kid… He will _not_ be put in a lab.

* * *

 **gracia is being uncharacteristically bitchy for some reason. i don't know why but i guess i should keep with it? at least she's calling him by name now instead of thing.**

 **and poor elric household. everyone is to their limits and no one seems to want to try and keep them from the edge of dangerous emotional cliffs... *sigh* the drama and angst...**


	4. Chapter 4

**sorry for the long wait! btw, fuery is flipping adorable**

* * *

 **~*~ Alphonse~*~**

The funeral for the Colonel is today. I'm the only one that doesn't have to get dressed so I opt to help Ren look presentable as well as Fuery. As I finish breakfast for everyone, I go to check on Ren but find him still looking at the clothing.

"Ren?" He looks up at me. "You okay?"

"I don't know how to put it on."

I mentally whack himself in the head for not realizing the issue and nod.

"That's alright. I'll help you."

He starts to take off the clothing he has on and I replace it with funeral appropriate clothing. I put the tie around his neck and tighten it. He moves it around and I smile.

"Uncomfortable?" I ask.

"Uh huh…"

"They're not supposed to be comfy." I say with a laugh.

"Fuery next!" he says, dropping something at my feet and looking up at me with a happy expression and a tail wag.

I smile and bend down to get what he had dropped and find a uniform jacket. I look at him as he pants at me, his eyes hopeful.

"You want to wear this to the funeral?"

Fuery turns his head. "Fuery under Colonel. Fuery dress nice."

I smile and pat him on the head.

"Alright, I'll put this on you but I'll do it when we get there so you won't get it dirty, okay?"

Fuery barks and I put the jacket on the back of the chair. I hear the door open upstairs and Brother comes down, looking so odd in his military regalia than his normal wear. His jacket is undone and his boots are untied but he looks rather nice in the uniform. As he gets to the end of the stairs, he looks up at me and smiles.

"Morning."

"Morning. Are you feeling a little better?"

"Yeah…" He turns to look at Ren, who is looking at him intently. "You look very nice in your suit, Ren."

"Thank you, Uncle Ed…" he says softly.

"Fuery dress up too!" he said, running up to Edward with a wag of his tail. "Fu-ner-al, fu-ner-al…" he sings as he moves his head side to side.

Ed smiles at him as well and I show him breakfast.

"I'm sure everyone's not as hungry as usual but if you don't eat you could pass out."

"Yeah…"

He sits down to eat as Ren slowly shuffles over and sits down as well. He doesn't seem to want to eat.

"Ren?" He looks up. "Are you alright?"

"I don't wanna go."

Edward looks at him for a moment but doesn't say anything.

"Why not?" I ask.

"I killed Papa and I don't wanna see him go in the ground."

Edward grips his fork angrily and I make a face.

"No one is blaming you for the Colonel's death, Ren. No one is going to say that you were the cause of anything. You weren't. And neither were you, Ed. You didn't do anything to cause his death."

Edward says nothing as Ren gets up and leaves the table. Fuery runs after him and I glare at Brother.

"Brother, you're making him think he's the one who caused the issue."

"Well if he hadn't been in the Colonel in the first place, I wouldn't have had to slice him open." He seethes.

I bang my hand on the table and he looks up at me.

"That is not right, Brother. You know as well as I do that he couldn't help his growth. _Tucker_ did this and only him. He caused the Colonel's death by making Ren but after that, it's no one else's fault. Stop blaming Ren."

Brother stands up and then looks down at me.

"I'll stop blaming him when I stop blaming myself. We're partners in crime, he and I. We _both_ killed Mustang… No one can change that fact. Not you, not Hawkeye, not Maes… We killed him together."

He walks away and I know that he will never forgive himself.

* * *

 **~*~ Maes~*~**

Gracia fixes my military uniform, putting the back of the collar down. I smile at her as she looks at me with a saddened expression. I play with the pearls around her neck for a second and she reaches up to softly kiss me on the cheek.

"Things will get better, Maes…"

"I don't know about that. Have you heard any word from Winry?"

Gracia nods and touches my cheek. "I'm going to go to the train station shortly to greet her from the train."

"Thank you. I'm sure she would appreciate it. You know what cemetery it will be in right?"

"Yes, I remember. You're all set as of right now. You should go so that you don't miss it..."

"Right…"

"It'll be alright, Maes."

I just nod, hoping that what Gracia says is right.

* * *

I get to the site and find most of the subordinates there already, minus Ed, Al, Ren, and Fuery. Havoc turns to me and smiles as Hawkeye turns as well. She gives me the best smile she can, but I know other than Edward, the Colonel's death hurts her more than she will let on. Guests start piling in one after the other and I see Madame Christmas with her girls come in and walk over to her. Upon seeing me she frowns and I clear my throat. We were never on the best of terms.

"Madame Christmas."

"Hughes. I thought I could count on you to keep my Roy-boy safe? Why am I here at his funeral?"

"I'm _so_ sorry, Madame Christmas. It was something that was way out of my control. If I could, I would have endured what he went through a thousand times. He was my best friend…"

Madame Christmas snubs me and walks past me.

"That's what I get for trusting a military dog with my boy. Look at him now… You have a rank for being six feet under?"

She is right, of course, but having it told to you personally and blatantly, it seems to hurt worse then.

"Maes?"

I turn to see Gracia with Elicia in her arms and Winry beside her. I smile at her and she smiles at me.

"Hello, Mr. Hughes. Thank you so much for calling me."

"You're welcome. I figured the Elrics wouldn't call you due to their… issues."

Winry nods. "Mrs. Hughes told me about what happened. I'm _so_ sorry for your loss."

"Edward's taking it the hardest…"

"That sounds like him. Always taking the blame from someone else. I think he feeds off of it."

I smile a little. "I can see that."

"Winry?"

We all turn to see the Elric brothers coming in.

* * *

 **~*~ Edward~*~**

Going to this funeral is taking every bit of strength I have in my body. Trying not to fall to the ground and crawl away like a baby is taking everything I have. I had a small breakdown last night but that didn't even put a dent into the duties that I still have as the Fullmetal Alchemist. I _still_ have to look brave and calm and collected because that is what everyone is expecting of me, Edward Elric. I don't breakdown and cry in corners, sobbing my eyes out like a baby. I don't want to die myself, carving out my heart and throwing it as far away as I can throw it. I don't wish to god that the taboo was anything but the taboo and I can just gather Roy in my arms and make a transmutation circle to bring him back.

No. I do not do that.

 _Edward Elric_ doesn't do any of those things.

He is strong, collected, brave, smart, and understanding. He has to believe that he wasn't the cause of his superior's death; that the other thing that helped his demise was behind him in the hands of his brother. He is okay with Ren. He is okay with this funeral.

"Brother, look." Alphonse says and I look up.

Up ahead I see a flash of blonde hair and find that Winry is with the Hughes', smiling to the other soldiers that are speaking to her. We make our way to her.

"Winry?"

They all turn and Hughes smiles at me.

 _Edward Elric does not want to punch people in their faces... at somber events.  
_

"Hello, boys. I had a feeling that you would be too busy with everything to remember about Winry so, I invited her."

I smile at Winry. "I'm glad. I forget sometimes that you knew the Colonel."

Winry smiles sadly. "I know how much he meant to you. I'm _so_ sorry, Ed, Al… And who is this?" she asks, looking at Ren.

"This is Ren, the Colonel's… son…" Al says, faltering.

Winry makes a face as Ren lays his head on Al's breastplate.

"He's… quite large."

"Something's up with him. We aren't going to try and find out until later. We have this to do."

 _Edward Elric does not cry._

"Right… Hello, Ren, my name is Winry. I'm Ed and Al's friend from a faraway place."

Ren laughs a little, embarrassed about Winry but finally shakes her hand. Winry smiles at him and rubs his hand softly.

"I'm sure this is quite confusing and hard."

"Baby Colonel scared." Fuery says from the ground, making Winry jump.

The odd voice seems to attract attention and I had forgotten that Fuery was walking along with us. He looks up at Winry, his tongue lolling out. She smiles a little.

"And um…"

"I don't know how much the Hughes' told you but that's one of Mustang's other men, Sergeant Kain Fuery. He was… well… he was turned into that."

"Trust Edward…" Fuery says, looking at me positively.

Winry seems to understand the issue and nods.

* * *

We make our way around before the funeral actually starts when it seems the ceremony is about to begin. Al says he'll take Ren to a seat when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look over it and find Lieutenant Hawkeye looking at me.

"Lieutenant…"

"You're going to be up here with us."

"What? I don't think-"

"Come on, Chief, you know it wouldn't be the same without you."

"Fuery come too." We all turn as Fuery looks at us with determination. "Fuery is subordinate. Colonel like."

Havoc seems to change into a shade of red I've never seen as he also grabs me by my uniform and raises me up to his level.

"How could you do that to him? How could you degrade him like that and even put a _military jacket_ on him?! As if that would solve the whole issue?! What kind of _sick_ bastard are you?!"

 _Edward Elric does not feel._

Hawkeye grabs a hold of Havoc's arm but he's not wanting to let go. Finally, Breda comes over to help and they ask what's wrong. Havoc points at Fuery, his hand shaking.

"You said you could turn him back! You said he'd be fine! Why is he a dog?! How could you degrade him like this? HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HUMAN!"

"I know." I say. _Edward Elric does not crumble._ "I can get him back but there was a chance that things could go awry. A low chance, but if I had tried to turn him human before the funeral and something happened, I could never forgive myself knowing that I was the one who made him unable to attend such an important event."

"And did you tell Fuery that? Huh? What about him? Did he get _any_ say in the matter?" Havoc seethes.

"Fuery trust Ed. Ed says he turn Fuery back after grass place time." Fuery says with a nod. "Fuery trust Ed."

Havoc sighs, running his fingers through his slicked back hair and breathes in deep.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have assumed. I'm just… not in my right mind."

"Is anyone?" Hawkeye says. She looks at Alphonse and sees Ren. "Is this…"

"Yeah, that's him."

 _Edward Elric does not blame others for his own mistakes._

"Why is he big like this? Is something wrong with him?"

"We don't know yet. We'll figure out what's going on later. I think they're calling us." I say, pointing to the podium.

"Baby Colonel come too?" Fuery asks.

Everyone looks back at Ren and Hawkeye sighs.

"He _should_ be up here since it was his father."

She walks to Alphonse and holds out her hands.

"My name is Lieutenant Hawkeye, I was a close friend of your father's. Would you mind letting me hold you for the ceremony?"

Ren looks at her for a moment and suddenly beams, reaching out to her. She gathers him in her arms and she walks to the stage. I follow suit as Winry and Alphonse go to take seats elsewhere.

 _Edward Elric does not wish to die._

* * *

 **so even though ed had that tiny burst of ooc emotion, it could never be enough for the ones he still has to tame inside. that's why he's starting to have to remind himself of what everyone expects of him. he could go cra- er, uh... i mean, he's got his guilty voice that blames himself 100%, he also has the blame voice that blames ren 100%, then he has his own mentality that says it's 50/50, and then he has his mantra, that edward elric is a pillar of perfection and nothing can make him crack. yeah we'll see where this leads you hun *eye roll***


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't really hear what they were saying during the funeral. I just stared into space, trying to keep myself together and trying to stay seated. I felt sick and disgusting; I didn't want to be here. I knew I had to, but what parts of the funeral I _did_ hear were all lies. A mission that caused an explosion and Colonel Mustang was unfortunately caught in the aftermath, is what they were saying. It was a good cover up and took everything into account, but they were missing the most vital part of the issue and it was that _I_ killed him. I sliced him open and let him bleed to death.

"-He was survived by his subordinates, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda, Master Sergeant Kain Fuery, and Warrant Officer Vato Falman. His military…"

I can't believe it… I… I'm not on the list? I look over at Hawkeye and she is looking at me with a bewildered expression as well. Actually everyone is looking at me in confusion. I know I came in late in the game, but I was a subordinate of Mustang! I mean… _**It's best if you weren't mentioned. I mean, you did kill him so why would they mention a killer on the list?**_

"-Major General Mustang was survived by his paternal aunt, Chris Mustang, and his children, Ren Mustang, Major Edward Elric, and Alphonse Elric."

My body froze completely over. I look at Alphonse in the crowd and wish for the times that he had a face with expression so that I could see him from afar. Winry looks puzzled, so I'm sure Al is just as confused.

Ren gets out of Hawkeye's lap and comes over to me, holding his hands up. I pick him up and he lays his head on my shoulder.

"Are we brothers?" he asks softly.

"I don't know what we are…" I tell him.

* * *

After the funeral ends, Ren has fallen asleep in my lap and I'm okay with that because I have no idea where I'm going to go. I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want to see the looks on people's faces. I don't know why that bastard stuck me in as his kid but it's going to cause a lot of questions that aren't even plausible. He's black haired and Mom was brown haired and even if him being my father were true, I would have black hair because the black would dominate…

"Edward?" I look up. "I brought the chaplain here. He said he wanted to talk to you about something."

I nod as he smiles and looks at me with sad eyes.

"You must be Major Edward Elric."

"Yeah, that's me…"

"I wanted to explain something about the way the funeral was held that Col- I mean, Major General Mustang had discussed with me some time ago. May I sit?" I nod and he sits beside me. Ren makes a noise but moves his head and goes back to sleep. "Mustang called me while he was in the hospital that past time. I saw what happened to him and he told me he had the feeling that he would die. He wanted me to write up a eulogy with certain things in mind. He said that since he didn't have a family, he wanted his team to included in the eulogy because they were like family to him, but he wanted a separate section for his immediate family and whatever child came out of him. When he mentioned his subordinates to me and he left you out, I asked him what you were probably asking yourself when you didn't hear your name called. His words were, "True, Edward is my subordinate, but I feel more like a father to him and to his brother no matter how I look at him. He's a good kid with a good heart and although I'm not the best man in the world, they've helped me understand how fatherhood works. If I actually have a child and live through it, I can use my experience to raise it right like my aunt did for me. If not for them, I'd still have the mindset of a bachelor." So, he said he specifically wanted you and your brother to be mentioned as his children."

"That asshole…" I say with a watery laugh.

The chaplain laughs. "He thought you might say that. He loved you in his own way, Major Elric; don't ever forget that."

Although his words are supposed to be kind, to me they feel like a threat. He leaves and I hold Ren for the remainder of the time.

* * *

We all drive back to the Colonel's home, Ren still sleeping on me and Winry leaned over onto Al's armor, Fuery in the front seat looking out the window. I'm the only one awake, unable to think of anything else at the moment. Ren stirs and whimpers against my chest, turning his head.

"I think he has bad dreams." Al says, scaring me.

"What?"

"Ren. I think he has a lot of bad dreams… He mentioned something last night that worried me… He said that he was in a dark place and while he was there, everyone was wanting him to die and that nobody wanted him. When I asked him who said that he said that it was 'all the people'. I know this may sound a little out there but… I think he was talking about while he was still in the womb."

I look at Al for a second.

"You're saying he remembers conversations from outside of Mustang's body?"

"I don't know, really… I mean, I just know that he said where he was was dark and scary and that he could hear people saying that it was his fault, that no one wanted him. He's not that old, Ed, no matter what he looks like now. He's _days_ old so him remembering isn't that odd."

"True… and he's a mix of who knows what so having that type of memory even as a fetus and into growing up wouldn't be too off the wall…"

"We need to figure out what's in him and what's causing this growth. By the way he's growing, by the end of the year he will be an old man and die. That's not fair…"

"Life isn't fair, Al. We know that better than anyone." I say with a sigh.

"That's not what I mean. Are you really going to let Ren suffer through growth spurts and then die as an old man before he's even lived? That's horrible."

"I never said I wouldn't help, but we have other things to think about before we can work on Ren. We have to get Fuery back to normal, I promised him after the funeral that I would."

"Fuery be human now?" Fuery says, looking over the seat from the front.

I smile. "Yes, I will be working on it. I still have one more test experiment to run and if that's a success, we'll be doing the next one on you."

Fuery barks, making Winry wake up. She looks around a little and notices Fuery in the front seat.

"Are we almost home?"

"Yeah…"

"Pretty lady." Fuery says, trying to climb over to the seat.

Winry laughs and pets Fuery's head, making him stop trying to climb over, his tail going a million miles at the attention. Ren suddenly wakes up, breathing hard and tears streaming down his face.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything as he looks around the car. He finally looks at me and then looks away.

"I don't feel good…"

The car stops and Al gets out first, opening the door for Fuery, and Winry gets out. I let Ren get out before me and as I'm getting out I hear Fuery shout, "Baby Colonel!" frantically. I rush out of the car to find Winry holding Ren on the ground as he seems to go into seizures. Al runs over but I don't. **_One down…_** I shake my head of the horrible thought and walk over to him, picking him up again.

"I'm taking him to the hospital. Al, call Hawkeye and let her know what's going on."

I rush Ren into the car, directing the driver to take us to the hospital. I hold onto him tightly so his seizures don't flail him about.

* * *

 **~*~ Alphonse~*~**

Ed leaves with Ren and poor Fuery is in a panic, pacing in front of the stairs.

"Baby Colonel… Baby Colonel…" he keeps repeating, as if he doesn't know what to do.

Winry stares at me.

"Al, what's going on?"

"I don't know, Winry… He's… he's not normal. He's only a few days old but he grew and looks like that. His body is made up of alchemy and chemicals from when Shou Tucker did the experiment. Who knows _what's_ inside of him that's causing this. I have to call the lieutenant…"

As I start to head inside, Fuery suddenly starts growling towards an alley that is across the way. I look over and see a small dog sitting there, looking at us calmly. I watch it for a second and realize it was the dog we had experimented on the first time.

"Hey… It's the rabbit-dog…"

"What?" Winry says, looking at me.

I go towards the dog but Fuery jumps in front of me.

"No!"

"What's wrong?"

"Smell wrong. Bad thing."

"That's the dog we un-transmuted… or well… covered over… He's the first success of our experimental alchemy to get you back to normal."

Fuery looks really skeptical as the rabbit-dog starts walking over towards us. Fuery's hackles start to raise and he growls at the dog the whole time as it makes its way across the road and over to me. I bend down to meet it but Fuery snarls, scaring it.

"No! My house! My humans! Go away!" he yells.

The rabbit-dog looks at Fuery and then looks at me. He inches a little towards me but Fuery growls again.

"Fuery, it's okay. I know this dog. He was like you, a mix of different things. Tucker did to him what he did to you." Fuery stops growling, but doesn't give up the stance. "He has bunny in him."

"Bunny… Hop hop." Fuery says.

"Right… He's a good dog."

The rabbit-dog decides to try again but Fuery lets him come this time and when he gets close enough, it leaps into my arms with an impressive jump. Fuery watches the dog for a second and then looks up at me.

"No fix."

"What?"

"Dog is… rabbit…" He seems to ponder something and when he looks up, I see human eyes with intelligence staring back. "I can't be human."

Winry looks at me and I hand her the rabbit-dog. I kneel in front of Fuery as he looks at me, a human horror crossing his face.

"I… will never be… human…"

"Yes you will."

He shakes his head. "No… I will… I will still be dog… Dog… dog, dog, dog…"

I sigh. "We can't… we can't split you apart." Fuery looks at me. "It's impossible. The DNA is too spliced together and trying to pull you apart would kill you. So… we found a way to make one DNA more dominant than the other. With the dog, we made it have more dog than rabbit, although the rabbit is still there. For you, it will be more human than dog, but the dog will… still be there."

"Lie."

"What?"

Fuery looks at me with a hateful expression mixed from both dog and man.

"Edward Elric _lie_! Fuery still be dog! Fuery no be human! FUERY STILL BE **_THIS_**!"

"Kain!" I yell when he suddenly just takes off.

The rabbit-dog lunges out of Winry's arms and takes off after him. I sigh and Winry looks at me in horror.

"Al!"

"We can't… we… I just need to call the lieutenant and then call brother. There's way too much happening."

Now I know how brother feels sometimes when people want him to do everything else while he's trying to do one thing. Of course, it would never be to the same extent as him, but one thing at a time and unfortunately, it's not that easy.

* * *

 **it was said in the anime/manga that there was no way to split anything combined because it would just kill them both. that's why scar killed ninaxander. so, you work with what you've got and in REACTION, edward realized that doing another transmutation with the blood of whatever you wanted dominate would make it more of that creature or whatever. neither of the elrics ever told fuery how they would get him back, just that they would. fuery was expecting to be fully human, the way he was before and no one ever said it couldn't happen. so yeah...**


	6. Chapter 6

**long time for this one... and for the record, fuery's mind goes back and forth between human and dog, but mostly dog. this will make sense**

 **also, RD would sound normal to him because he's a dog too**

* * *

 **~*~ Fuery~*~**

Edward Elric lie! He say I be human when I no be nothing! I still stay like _this_!

"Hey, where are you going?!"

I turn and see rabbit-dog but Fuery no like rabbit-dog! Hop Hop bad dog and no like!

"Go away! Fuery no like you!"

"You can't run away!"

I turn because rabbit-dog talking like Fuery…

"You talk like Fuery does…"

"No, I'm a dog too so you can understand me now."

Fuery not happy. "I no like you."

"Why? I haven't done anything... I wanted to be your friend."

"I no want to be your friend! You bad!"

"How?"

"You smell of bad place that Fuery was at and friends were hurt… Fuery turned to this!"

"Hey, I was captured too and spliced against my will as well. Just because you're human too doesn't mean you're better than me."

"Fuery no human…"

"Not completely, but they got me back to close to what I was before and they can do it for you too."

"I. No. Be. _Human_!" Fuery yells.

Stupid rabbit-dog is stupid! He no get!

Rabbit-dog walks up to me and I back away. It sits and stares at me with head turned.

"Can I explain something to you? Will you listen?"

"I have no choice, do I?" Fuery asks.

"You need to understand… The golden haired angel made me almost normal again and if he could understand me, I would tell him thank you so much! I know what it feels like, to not know what you are and lose yourself, and I still feel the bunny in me but I'm still me. I think the golden haired angel was saying that you would be able to look human and think like a human but… you may still have dog stuff. A tail? Good smell? Understand dogs? They are little but looking like yourself is better, right? Even though I'm a dog, that's not what _you_ are supposed to be. At least if you don't look like that, you can try to live normal, right?"

Fuery understands but still mad at Edward Elric.

"He promise I be human…"

"He's trying all he can… Can't you give him a chance? He promised to try and get you back… at least…"

Fuery nods. "Fuery try to be better and wait… Do you have a name?"

"The golden haired angel hasn't named me yet."

"He is man, not an angel."

The rabbit-dog gives Fuery a funny look.

"Maybe not to you…"

Fuery doesn't understand but rabbit-dog likes Edward Elric and believe in him. If animal can, then so can Fuery. I know he do all he can, but my mind… My mind gets so lost in here. I feel like I've let everyone down. I was the worst of the evils that happened in that lab. The human side of me knows that Edward would never lie to me, but the dog side of me just can't comprehend "almost". It's like all it sees is one or the other, not an in between. I mean, I don't want to look like I came out of a story book but being in this form, in this body and with this mind, I'm losing myself. I don't… I don't that… It's such a struggle to move past the easy and eager mind of a dog but… I'm not a dog.

I'm a man.

And if Edward Elric says he can give that back to me, in whatever form it may be, then I have to believe him. He's all I've got…

* * *

 **~*~ Edward~*~**

I wait in the waiting room for any information that can give me on Ren's growth spurts and the condition he's in. I know there's not much that they can do with a kid like Ren but we have to try _something_. I mean, the Colonel would want his kid safe, no matter how… odd he was. I keep trying to tell myself that Ren is a product of something heinous and unorthodox, something that should have never been done but it's not his fault. He is here, he is alive, and he is in a lot of pain and going through a lot of things that I, he, nor the world understands…

"Mr. Elric?"

I look up as the doctor comes out and I stand to greet him.

"I assume you are the guardian of that… child?"

"For now. What's going on? Can you-"

"What _is_ that child, Mr. Elric?"

I debate telling him but I'm sure everyone knows about the Colonel. I mean, it wasn't that long ago he was here…

"He is Colonel Roy Mustang's son, the one he was carrying not too long ago." The doctor lifts an eyebrow. "I'm sure you knew that Mustang was with child."

"I had heard rumor of the pregnant officer but I was not aware that it was… true."

"Well the kid is proof."

"About him… he's a very unique child. He's… well, I really just can't explain it. I'll have to show you." He pulls out a small vial of bright red liquid and holds it out to me. "Tell me what you see in there."

I make a face but grab the vial and look into it. The coloring is thick and the brightest of reds that I've ever seen… I don't get what he's telling me to look at when I suddenly see it, ever so slightly. A small floating circular thing that glints off the lights.

"What is ithat?"

"That would be a transmutation circle." I look at him quickly. "How did the child come to be inside of the colonel?"

"He was made with bioalchemy."

"A child made of alchemy would surely show some of the building blocks of itself. He's quick extraordinary. His blood, as you can see, literally has transmutation circles within him but he seems to be quite unstable."

"Unstable?"

"Yes. He's an experiment and as you know, most experiments on the first try are not as they should be in the very end to have a lasting result. Mr. Elric." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Ren, by the rate he is going, will not last the year."

I look away. "Yeah, we… kind of calculated that. Is there nothing we can do?"

"Unless you can find the counter circle to the ones inside of his blood, his body will continue to change and change until he is old and decrepit and dies. These seizures will continue as well. His body is not stable… in all honesty, he should have been given to science."

For some reason that pisses me off and I glare at the doctor.

"Where is he? How is he?"

"He's in recovery. He's weak but he should be able to leave soon. He's not five anymore."

I nod and hand the vial back to him, heading to Ren's room.

I open the door and find a kid about ten in the hospital bed with an IV in his arm, a couple of bruises on his forearm where they must have been trying to get his blood. I walk in and touch his face softly. He looks so much like Mustang that it's like looking into a horrible past. His black hair is greasy like Mustang's…

"Uncle Ed?"

I smile and sit on the edge of the bed.

"You gave me quite a scare."

He gives me a tired smile and then his expression turns serious.

"I'm not normal."

I chuckle a little. "No, kid, you're not."

"I don't like it… I'm scared."

"We'll try and figure it out, alright? I know it's really scary but I think all this stress on everyone, including you, is what's causing the growth… Alphonse said you have dreams about people saying that you're a horrible person and that they want you to die…"

Ren makes a face. "It's not dreams."

"Then what are they?"

"They're memories. I remember people saying it."

"That would mean that you remember conversations from outside of the womb."

"What's that?" he asks, turning his head to the side.

"When you were growing inside… inside Mustang. Despite what you look like, Ren, you're only days old. That means that you heard people talking outside of Mustang."

Ren's hand clench and he stares at the bedding.

"I _know_ what I heard and I _know_ what they said. Everyone wanted me to die. They wanted to make me go away to save Papa." His face softens. "But Papa wouldn't let them… Papa wanted me to live…"

 _ **Look at this piece of work. Can you believe he thinks he knows Mustang? This little cretin is the one who took him from you. To think he knows him…**_ I shake the thoughts away and smile as best as I can.

"Yes… Mustang wanted you to live."

"But you don't." I blink in surprise as he looks at me forlornly. "I can see it in your eyes. You hate me and want me to die. I bet you're even thinking that you should let what's wrong with me take its course… I mean… you'd only have to deal with me for a little while, right?" He says, tears in his strange colored eyes.

 _ **Wow, this kid is good. Right on the money-** No! No, of course I don't want him to die._

"Ren-"

"Please don't say it's wrong." I close my mouth. "P-Please… Please don't lie to me…"

I don't know what to do. I mean, he's just a kid. What does he want from me?

"Then what _do_ you want?"

Smiling through tears he says, "I want you to tell the truth. I just want to know if what I heard and what's been said is… is true…"

I look down and can't say anything to him. So I nod and I hear Ren try hold back his tears.

What the hell am I doing here anyway? Here I am, talking to a kid that's not even a week old and I'm letting him know that all of his thoughts and worries are real… I'm here just telling him that everyone in his life hates him. I stand up and look down at my feet.

"Maybe it would be best if you stayed in the hospital for a little bit. Calm down from all this stress, get away from us for a while… If anything happens, the nurses can help you out and you'll have someone to take care of you." Ren nods. I breathe in. "Ren… Not everyone hates you."

He doesn't say anything and I leave the room, only making this even worse than it is. I'm a horrible person and Mustang was stupid to have put his trust in me. I'm not the right one for this job.

* * *

 **~*~ Jean~*~**

I got a call from Hawkeye that said that something happened with Mustang's kid and so I decide to go pay a visit to the little tyke when I see Edward in there talking to him. Usually I wouldn't eavesdrop on something but when I hear Ren say, "You hate me and want me to die," I couldn't help but listen. I mean, Edward would never admit that but I listen and realize that this kid is… all alone. Even Edward Elric is denying him.

When I see Edward leaving him, I move and he luckily beelines it from the room. I turn back to look in and see Ren crying in the bed, sobbing his eyes out and just… I open up the door and Ren looks up with a gasp. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him.

"I don't hate you, Ren." I whisper into his ear.

"Why?" he cries.

"Because what did you ever do to us? If Tucker hadn't taken Edward, then your father wouldn't have been caught in the situation he was in. He would have been able to come back home and have you properly. But Tucker took something that was his and he had to get it back… You're just a little kid, Ren."

Ren suddenly burst into more tears and wrapped his arms around me. I rocked with him until he stopped crying, not going to abandon him like everyone else. Someone had to be there for him…

* * *

 **is edward about to crack? probably. I mean, he's not even going to try and deny some things to a child? that's very un EE of him. but people got their limits and he is tipping close to the brink. but, at least for now ren has havoc.**


	7. Chapter 7

**tons and tons of feels ahead. toooooons of them. although i do hope my point gets across. drama tends to get wordy for some reason...**

* * *

"I mean you should have seen it, Heymans. The kid was practically begging Edward to tell him his thoughts were lies and Edward just said that yeah, everyone hated him. I wanted to beat the Chief so badly but Ren… he just… that kid is so _alone_."

"Peanuts?" Heymans says, holding out a bowl of them.

I grab the bowl and begin to stuff them in my mouth. He must have noticed I was shaking from the anger and the hunger. This shrew thing is really annoying…

"Anyway, I didn't know what Edward was gonna do with the kid so I thought maybe he could stay here with us."

"Not to be the fly in the soup but what do we know about alchemy? That's kind of the whole point of Ed and Al taking care of him. He's not normal."

"Despite the coldness of the Chief, I can see that he's not himself. Everyone is relying on him way too much to do something he may not be able to even fix. Yeah, Ren's made of alchemy. But Fuery was morphed into that horrid dog-thing by alchemy, the Colonel got pregnant by bioalchemy, and his own brother is bound to a suit of armor by a blood seal… that is alchemy. I can see where he's got a lot on his shoulders. What he said in there wasn't what Edward Elric would say."

"So you want to try and take a bit of the burden off of him?"

"Yeah, just for a bit. Maybe until he can fix Fuery or something? One thing at a time."

"Won't that just make Ren feel even more hated?"

"Not if _we_ make sure he doesn't. I'm not happy that Ren's existence killed our superior. Not at all. But Ren had no say in the matter and the only reason Mustang died was because Tucker took Ed. If he hadn't taken Edward then Mustang would have stayed in the hospital and he would have had a higher percentage of living. But that didn't happen and here we are."

"What about Hughes?"

"From what I gathered through Ren's sobs, he couldn't handle him either."

Breda thinks for a moment. "What about Hawkeye?"

I go to the icebox and grab some water. I drink down about three glasses before I put the pitcher up and open the top. My ice block is almost gone.

"Did you order another ice block?"

"The guy said he was coming today."

I nod. "And I don't think that would be a good idea. I mean…"

"Not to sound unsupportive, but I honestly don't see what we could do to help Ren. I'm still not exactly okay in the head and I don't want to cause anymore stress on anyone."

"You're fine." I say dismissively as I grab some more peanuts. "You're not bothering me."

"For now…"

"I just want Ren to be in a loving family… one that will care for him. Edward has way too much on his plate… he's also got the trauma of losing the Colonel on top of everything else. I just want Ed to get back to normal first before dealing anymore with Ren. You didn't see him, Breda…"

"If you think we can do something for him, then let's try. But…"

"If I see you're starting to have issues then I'll try to get someone to take him. I just really want to show him that _someone_ cares."

Breda nods. "I'll try to stay calm."

* * *

 **~*~ Alphonse~*~**

I sit at the table in worry. I called Lieutenant Hawkeye but she didn't answer the phone and Fuery still hasn't come back with the rabbit-dog. I put my head in my hands as Winry looks at me from the other side of the table.

"Al… I want to help you guys-"

"You can't. Unless you know some sort of secret alchemy, you can't help us."

Winry sighs and I know she feels useless but we are everyone's best bet. Well… _Brother_ is everyone's best bet but he's starting to break down. He can't handle all of this so I need to be able to help him. So far, I lost Fuery and the rabbit-dog.

"Ding dong! Ding dong!" I hear muffled outside.

I get up quickly and open the door, finding Fuery and the rabbit-dog. If I had a physical body I would have probably crumbled to the ground from relief and exhaustion. Instead, I go to my knees and Fuery runs to me, licking my helmet.

"Alphonse good. Fuery sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. We should have explained it better to you. You had every right to be mad at us."

"Fuery okay with Hop Hop. Fuery trust Edward and Fuery trust Alphonse."

"I'm so glad!" I say as the rabbit-dog slinks itself inside.

"Fuery know can do best you can. Fuery okay with that."

I pet his head as he lolls his tongue. "I'm glad. We'll do everything we can."

The phone rings and Winry gets up to get it as I pet the dogs for a second. She's oddly silent and I look up at her. She is nodding and clenching the receiver really tight. She answers curtly to whoever is on the other line and slams the phone down.

"Winry?"

"That was Central."

"What did they say?"

"One of the officers saw Edward on the bridge. He told one of his other men to go down below just in case. He said that when he spoke to Edward, there was no life left in his eyes and that little piece of shit jumped off. Luckily, the other officer had been there to catch him, but he said that he was screaming out how much he wanted to die. So they took him to the hospital, where he is being strapped down and being kept for observation."

Fuery whimpers and I clench my hands.

"I _knew_ he wasn't okay… Stupid Brother!"

"Fuery come too?"

"No, you'll stay with Winry, okay? She'll take good care of you while I'm gone. Maybe you and her can find a good name for the rabbit-dog, okay?"

Fuery barks happily. "Hop Hop gets a name!" he says, wagging his tail.

"I'm leaving it to you."

I go out and run to the hospital, ready to kill my brother. I wish he would just talk to me sometimes! Why does he have to be so dramatic?

* * *

 **~*~ Ren~*~**

I know I'm not supposed to get up but I could hear the people talking about someone that looked like Uncle Ed had been brought back to this place. I wonder why he was here… I get up but have to move the funny metal thing with me and I shuffle along.

"Oh, sweetheart, where are you going?" a nice lady asks me.

"I'm trying to find my uncle. His name is Edward…"

The lady frowns. "What does he look like?"

"He has yellow hair and yellow eyes and is kind of small."

She looks sad and I look away.

"Is… is that bad?"

"No, it's not that. I don't think it would be a good idea to see your uncle. He's not feeling very well."

I feel my eyes widen. "He's sick?"

"Not… necessarily…"

"Ren?"

I turn and see Uncle Al. The lady looks up at him and I smile at him."

"Uncle Al, the lady said Uncle Ed is here but she won't let me he see him."

Uncle Al looks at the lady. "He's with me. Um, so you know where my brother is?"

"Yes, he's down the hall but… I really don't think it's a good idea to take the boy…"

"Thank you." Uncle Al says, grabbing my hand anyway.

We walk down the hallway and I don't want to tell him what happened but maybe it was my fault again.

"Uncle Al?"

"Yeah?"

"Um… I… when Uncle Ed was here I-"

"Whatever has happened probably isn't your fault, Ren. Not everything is your fault."

"That's what Uncle Ed said… well, he said not everyone hates me."

Uncle Al looks down at me and stops walking.

"Why did he say that?"

I rub my arm. "I… I asked him if he hated me and told him not to lie. So he didn't lie but said that not everyone hated me."

I don't can't see Uncle Al's face but for some reason I think he's mad.

"He said he hated you?"

"He just didn't say he didn't. He said I should be with someone else that's not him."

Uncle Al bends down and looks at me.

"Whatever Ed said to you, it's not true. He's going through a lot of things right now and I don't think he can think straight. We don't hate you."

I touch Uncle Al's metal face.

"I can't see your face cuz it doesn't change but you don't have to lie. I didn't want Uncle Ed to lie either."

Uncle Al stands up and looks away from me.

" _I'm_ not lying but I think that nurse was right. You stay out here while I deal with my brother."

Uncle Al walks away and I sit on the chairs to wait for him.

* * *

 **~*~ Alphonse~*~**

I find Brother's door and open it, finding him in the bed laying dormant. His eyes are open and he's breathing rapidly but he is staring at nothing. I walk in and go over to him. His eyes flicker to me and he lunges at me.

"Get me out of here!" he yells.

"Brother, for right now it's for your own safety that you stay here. You tried to jump off of a bridge! You _did_ jump off of a bridge! If that officer hadn't put a man under it to catch you, you could have _died_!" I grab his clothes and shake him. "What the hell is your problem?! What's going on?!"

"I can't do this anymore!" he screamed.

"Do what?"

"I can't be here anymore! I can't think, I can't fix everything, I can't be everyone's pillar of hope! I can't do this! I'm not a god! I can't make everything better or be the best at everything or make everything okay! I'm only one person and… and I just… I just…"

"You just what, Brother?"

He began to sob and I watched as he broke down, turning his head as far into the pillow as he could.

"I don't want to be strong anymore. I don't want to have to be the person everyone relies on. I can't do anything or comfort anyone more than anyone else. Everyone turns to me when things like this happen but I'm just a kid… I'm a kid and no one seems to understand that. I can't mourn because I have a kid to take care of, I can't mourn because I have a promise I need to fulfill, I can't mourn because everyone else is mourning and I have to be strong for them! I just told a kid that I hated him because I feel that he should feel as guilty as me! I want Ren to suffer with me because we killed Mustang together, he and I. We are a tag team of murderers! _I_ KILLED ROY MUSTANG! I KILLED HIM AND THAT KID HELPED ME DO IT!"

I watch my brother crumble into a shamble of tears and I don't know what to do. The crux of everything is just that: he believes the he killed the Colonel and that no one will agree with him. Since no one will do that, he puts half the blame on Ren, who everyone kind of believes killed the Colonel.

"Ed… do you believe that Ren killed the Colonel?"

"He's a little baby… he didn't mean anything…" he whimpers sadly.

"Then why do you blame him with you?"

"No one likes Ren and if Ren thinks he did it then I can comfort him with my secret. We'll be the only ones who know…"

"Then… what do you want?" I ask softly.

Edward turns back to me. "I want everyone to love Ren. I want someone to keep him and love him but not me. I can't because I killed Mustang and if I have Ren, I will try to make him my scapegoat when I know deep in my heart that it was _me_. I can't keep Ren because I make him the enemy when he had nothing to do with it. And then I feel guilty for lying and for trying and I just can't keep going around in circles like this."

"Are you _wanting_ to be blamed for the Colonel's death? Do you really want everyone to view you as a killer?"

Edward looks at me solemnly. "I just want the death of my superior to go to the real killer, not a kid who doesn't understand. Not a kid who everyone already hated from the fucking _womb_. I'm tired of dealing with all the fake smiles and fake acceptance and fake sympathies they have to him. I'm tired of trying to play along when everyone knows the real reason he died… and it wasn't from Ren."

"Then why try to kill yourself and leave Ren with the same thoughts? That's so selfish of you, Brother." I growl.

"I just wanted it to stop…"

"A permanent solution to a temporary problem! You're so dramatic sometimes! Why can't you just _talk_?! Why can't you just have a deep conversation with someone to tell your feelings to so that you don't go to these extremes?! You always think you can find answers elsewhere when you could find them fine if you just _TALKED_!" I am trembling where tears can't form and I try to stay calm. "Brother, I love you and I will _be_ your listening ear. I won't judge you, I won't think badly of you, and I won't blame you for a lot of the stuff you think you should be blamed for. But you have to be willing to say something. I _can't_ lose you."

I walk to the door and put my hand on the knob.

"I'm gonna leave you here for a bit so you can cool down. I'll tell everyone not to come and visit. Maybe if you sit in the dark for a bit, you'll get your head straight."

I walk out and go help Ren to his room.

"Is Uncle Ed alright?"

"No, he's not. Don't bother him right now."

"Did I do something?"

"No, it's not you at all. I promise. He's just… unstable."

Ren nods and we go back to his room.

* * *

 **ed's line of thinking is hard to explain but basically, he feels guilty for (believing) he killed mustang. to keep himself from that guilt, he tries to share the blame with ren. but then he feels guilty about that because he knows ren didn't do anything. so then it's a vicious cycle of him trying to shift blame but keep it at the same time until he finally just broke. knowing he was adding to the hate of a defenseless child was too much for him.**

 **he'll be aight... and now that that drama is over we can move on a little hehe**


End file.
